Within an hour of my last blog post I started thinking of things I should have included. Having time to think through all the points you want to include is definitely an advantage of writing with plenty of time to spare before your deadline but when I posted my blog I knew that either I wrote and published in that moment or it wasn’t going to happen.
I’d much rather share what I can, when I can, even if it’s imperfect, than to wait for it to be perfect. Because honestly, it will never, ever, ever be perfect. I can share my imperfection or I can be silent.
When I went to the beach searching for sea shells I was seeking perfection. The biggest, most beautiful, whole sea shell I could find because I wanted the best sea shell.
Society sells us the illusion of perfection and we buy the illusion. It tells us, happiness is just over the next hill, finding the best sea shell, getting the next accomplishment, losing the weight, buying the next new car.
There are so many reasons for this, but I believe that one reason we seek perfection is because so many of us battle never feeling good enough and we so desperately want to finally feel that we are enough. We want to feel that we are…
Valuable
Wanted
Special
We hope that more, that perfection, will fill our emptiness, give us joy, give us purpose.
But the thing is that perfection is a very dangerous illusion. Perfection does not equal happiness, acceptance or peace and even if it did, perfection is impossible to obtain! We are all broken. No one makes it out of this life unscathed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting more or to become a better person (it’s actually very important) but when we focus on perfection and allow our deficits to guide our behavior we become stuck on the perfection roller coaster. We are never enough. We never have enough. We are never special. We can never get off the ride.
And, most tragically, we miss out on living a wholehearted, beautiful, broken life.
It’s a scary thing to admit that you’re broken. Society tells us that perfect is the way to be, that vulnerability is a weakness. But perfection is a facade designed to hide our weaknesses and our brokenness. It cultivates weakness and fear. It’s like the most beautiful wallpaper covering a wall that is being eaten by cockroaches. The longer the truth is hidden, the weaker we become.
And the statement that emotional vulnerability is a weakness is a lie.
Yes, carelessly sharing your brokenness can be dangerous but intentionally sharing yourself with someone who has earned the right to hear your story is a sign of courage. It says, “I’m not perfect and I am enough. I am imperfect and I am ok. I am valuable. I am beautifully broken. I am strong enough to admit that perfection is a lie.”
Those who would criticize you and point out your flaws are only trying to distract themselves from their own pain and fear. They want you to feel less-than so they can feel greater-than. Don’t buy their propaganda.
Intentional vulnerability tears down the rotten walls and allows you to start building a new, strong, true home for your soul and gives others a safe place to rest.
I’m getting off the roller coaster. It’s not easy because I’ve been on it for so long. But I’m doing it anyway. When I find myself unintentionally back on it I’m going to have to intentionally take myself off the ride, again and again.
I’m tired of chasing perfection. I don’t want a facade. I want acceptance and peace and I will never know true acceptance or peace until I love myself as I am and I find people who love me in my brokenness.
We are all broken.
We are all beautiful.
No one is perfect.
We are enough in our brokenness.
Did this post speak to you? If so, please share it with others.
Determined to Thrive 